Earth Hour 2009

Let's show our support for Mother Earth by turning out the lights for one hour tonight! Save Electricity and take your VOTE for Earth!!! Look up at the MOON and the Stars and see how beautiful the sky is without the glaring of neighborhood lights. Let's participate one and all!!!!

South Carolina Moon

As I pulled out of the driveway yesterday morning, I looked up and saw the moon. It was what I call a "SOUTH CAROLINA MOON" You have seen the picture I am sure. A Palmetto tree, the Moon and a star. These are all in the picture depicting South Carolina. South Carolina is a special place to this family. This is where My husband and I lived from 1978 until 1987. I took my first job as an Anesthetist there at the Medical University of South Carolina. It was there we started our family. My husband got his Masters degree at The Citadel. My boys were born there. We lived for a time on Sullivan's Island. I can still see their little red cheeks as they played in the yard in the SC heat! When we have returned for a visit, I have looked up and seen the same Moon.......that same Moon with the star. Then the song comes to mind...
In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina. Can ya feel the sunshine?.. can't ya just feel the moon shine? ....ain't it just like a friend of mine to hit me from behind?....I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind....
I think the artist is James Taylor who is one of my favorites, probably because he had so much music out during that era of my life. I sent a text to my son telling him of the SC Moon. Seeing that familiar picture in the sky was a comfort. Like seeing an Old Friend..............

Reinventing Myself

OK I have to admit it. I have been in a bit of a slump these past few months. Why? Because my nest is empty. My sons are in Texas, and I am here. I am faced with a Holiday approaching and for the VERY FIRST TIME......I will have no offspring present to celebrate. Seems like a small thing I know. Those of you who have been through this know what I am talking about. If you have not been through this, then you do not know and I cannot make you understand. Like all things in life, one can not imagine. In theory it seems easy. In the thick of everyday life it is hard. I have felt my spirit become sort of mushy. Delicate. Broken. Like an old clay pot that has been discarded after summer planting. The harvest is here and gone. What I toiled for has been recognized, reaped and now it is gone. All that is left is the cracked pot and that cracked pot is me.

OK. I don't want to be overly dramatic here. Still, like so many other life transitions it is real. If you do a good job, the kids are gone and you are left to reinvent your life. Yes, I did yearn for the day to come. Many times I commented that it will be lovely when my boys (young men now) sprang the nest and I could get on to other things in my life. Like so many other things,be careful what you wish for......... It seems our lives are made up of transitional phases. None of them are easy. From adolescence to adulthood and yes even into the senior years it is a struggle. Adolescence with its ambiguousness, the teen years with its hurdles, young adulthood with the yearning to love and be loved, adulthood with making the marriage and family work. Now, with my empty nest looming in front of me, no longer on the horizon, but right HERE, it is extremely hard to believe that I yearned for this. There have been times I am sure when the anticipation of something seems sweet but in reality FEELS difficult. This is how it is for me now. I dream dreams of what can be but I feel immobilized. Is it true nobody needs me today? I can go out to the woods and walk for hours and will not be missed? Hard to believe and still I get the feeling of some impending reason why I must get home. True, my retired husband is at home but truly he can survive without my presence. He is a man who needs me but will not die without me for a few hours.

Times like these, I truly draw close to God. I thank God he is always there for me. I find refuge in his Love and the idea that he constantly cares for me. I often wonder how people get through life without a relationship with the God of the Universe. If God carries us through the tough times, I hope he knows he is in for a very long piggyback ride!! It is so easy for someone like me to get by when taking care of others. Taking care of others is what I always did best. I have called myself a "caretaker " in the past. Sometimes taking pride in this title. Now, although I am sure I could run out and find others to "take care of" I know deep down it is time to take care of myself! Guess what I never did in my life??????? You guessed it. I never took care of ME!!! Of course I did to the the extent needed. I had a good education and landed a good career and so forth. I never lived alone. This was something I always regretted but have come to accept. I got married young and within four years had my first Son.....then my second Son and I guess I was on a treadmill ever since juggliing work and kids and a husband.

Yes, I feel your boredom setting in. (its not an original story, I know) Am I complaining? Not at all. I am thankful for my blessings and though I could have written some things differently in my life, these things forced me to grow.....alot.......so they served their purpose. In a sense I feel like I am back where I was before children (BC). Those crying and wiggly packages took a lot of TIME, and time I gladly gave. The only thing is, I sort of put ME on the back burner for several years. At least it feels this way. Who can pursue interests as a woman when you are a mother busy traveling for 4 soccer schedules, attending basketball games,school activities glore, carting bikes and balls and snowboards from place to place? What a lovely life. It is now OVER. So I wished for this? Yep I did! Somewhere along the line I wished for easier more restful days. Note to self: It is here!!!!

What to do? Holidays...........decorate for them? Mealtimes........cook? Well we gotta eat but those meals do NOT look like they use to. ( My husband wishes the kids were around!!!)

I have searched for info on the Empty Nest. I have found some good things. I guess I will educate myself and move on. I always read books for every passage in life. My library will grow, I suppose. With God's help I will see this through. My goal is to come out on the other side a better and happier person. Yep, I am in the thick of it. I am looking into that box of chocolates Forrest Gump........and I am going to choose my flavors. It should be fun I know that, so if I can put my tissue box down for a bit, I may discover how much FUN it can be....

If you are not sure what I am talking about, and you have kids, trust me. Your day is coming. Enjoy these days while you can. They REALLY DO go fast. I know someone told you but BELIEVE it! I never did and I wasted lots of time never believing it would come to an end. Happy Travels to you!

MY NEW JOURNEY IS BEGINNING........

Full Worm Moon

This past week we had a Full Moon which had a strange name. It was called the FULL WORM MOON. Strange name, but it is described as such because it is thought that during this Full Moon, with the approach of Spring, earthworms can be seen now moving out of the ground. OK, so we don't all LOVE worms but It is a sign of Spring, I guess, which from what I hear all are eagerly awaiting. So, if you are one of those folk, it should be good news. Also if you are a Fisherman, also good news. *smile*
I remember one year when my youngest Son was growing up, he and my husband had a fishing trip planned. My husband made the request that he go out and dig up some earthworms for bait. Well, my son went to it.......and a short time later he had a bucket full.I do mean FULL of worms. My husband exclaimed that he had perhaps more than enough and he ignored him and just kept adding to his collection. With my youngest son, MORE was always better..........A funny worm memory! Now how many of you can say you have a "worm memory" to go with this FULL WORM MOON!!!????
Today is the St Patrick's Day Parade in our city. We plan to go. It should be cold in the morning but is suppose to warm up for the afternoon. Top O the Mornin to You!!!

Spring

Alright so it is Official. Spring is here. I checked with my fine feathered friends this morning. I went out on my porch and listened to the chirps and warbles of the birds and it seems to me that they were trying to tell me something. The sound is unmistakable. I think that SPRING is here. If not, then the birds will be at fault. Here in PA we had one of the worst snowstorms ever on March 13th. I think it was 1993. Over a foot of snow.......so I am cautiously optimistic. Although, if the snow comes, I will not be disappointed. I must confess I did whisper a little prayer the other day for ONE MORE LARGE snowstorm!!!!

The Hair pic might have to wait. I don't have one I like just yet. I like the haircut. I am still getting use to it. I just do NOT like flat hairstyles. My hair is poker straight. If I want curl I end up damaging my hair with perms and steam rollers. I haven't had a perm in years but the steam rollers are what did my hair in this last time. While it was good ....it was good. Once the damage was done I had to go shorter. It must be another symptom of aging.......of course we can blame lots of things on that!!! Don't get me started!!!

Today I am on call for the hospital and keeping my fingers crossed I do not get called in. As it turns out I have lots to do which is usually a jinx. I have a visit to my Godson today and also a retirement party. I hope things go smoothly.

Before The Haircut

Okay so this is me before the Haircut....... Come back later for the "AFTER" pic

The end of February

Most people wait for Spring. They enjoy sunny days in the Winter. I guess I must be crazy. I like the cloudy winter Days and I sort of dread the warm weather approaching. Maybe I lived in Siberia in another life or something. I really don't believe in reincarnation. I am Christian through and through so I don't want to mislead anyone. Still, I don't know why I like the gray days of Winter so much. It is a mystery to me. Maybe I just enjoy the slower pace in the Winter.

They say there might be some snow this weekend and I am wishing for it. I do hear an occasional song from a lonely bird in the morning which I think is new. I am sorry to tell this lonely bird that most of the time March comes in like a Lion and goes out like a Lamb. Still more cold to come............. ( I hope ) I hear people wishing for Spring. "Spring is right around the corner!" and "I can't for Spring." I don't join in these conversations much except to say. " I don't like the heat." Mostly I don't say anything because I don't want to steal their joy!!!

So its my favorite day of the week....Saturday and I am trying to make some plans for a haircut. My husband likes my hair long but I am tiring of this ...... I am a middle aged woman and it is time to look more my age and less like I am trying to be a teenager. Amazing what we do for those we love. The only plus to having longer hair is that it can be pulled up or back. I have a pet peeve about hairstylists. though. I hate making appointments. I like walk in places. Unfortunately, I do not always trust the folks at these places. I like doing things on the spur of the moment. The older I get I do not like planning ahead! Not sure why.

So, here is hoping for snow showers and the courage to follow through with my plans for a haircut. Not sure how these are related!!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Winter Vacation

Well, I guess I did not post much in the last year! I am on vacation for 10 days and yes, I do love winter vacations, only this time I am not flying out to a sunny location. I will be staying right here and hopefully enjoying my home city...the cold weather.and I am praying for SNOW!!!
I plan to try to post more to this blog. I got a laptop and I have become comfortable with it. Maybe it will lend to a few more posts.
I am not sure what to post on a blog, maybe this is the problem. ........I guess it can be whatever I want it to be.
I have a place where I go, a place of solitude, and I feel the place calling me. It is not far from home. I feel it would be an appropo way to begin my vacation. It would be good to clear my head of all the cobwebs of work in order to experience solitude, relaxation and rejuvenation. Vacations can be strange things. Right now it is lying before me, a clean slate to be filled. But how to fill it? That is the question, and one I should have decided on some time ago. No, there will be no sunny vacation by my own choice, it is true. Still, it is precious time and spending it wisely is important to me. There is such a plethora of things to do but what would serve me best? Every day while I am working it is so stressful and busy. It is a state that I get use to. I wonder sometimes if I still remember,(or did I ever learn) how to relax. What is relaxing? Is it coming to the end of the vacation knowing that much was accomplished? Can I be happy if not much is taken care of save relaxing? A flurry of activity would only be an extension of my everyday life while working!
So, today the decision has to be made and I will make it.
A Happy Valentines Day to all......... I am Happy that I do have the same Valentine for many years and I do Love him so. A part of my life I am thankful for..........It was just a few years ago that my Sweetheart returned home from the hospital after open heart surgery. His physical heart was healed, and we have had the gift of TIME once again. This Valentine's Day I remain thankful for that. Thankful that the physical heart was healed and our hearts, in an emotional and loving sense, can remain entwined for more time on this earth......as I am sure our hearts will remain entwined for Eternity. He was my High School Sweetheart. Many miles have been traveled together. Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart!!!